Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Last Year vs. This Year

I graduated with my undergraduate degree in four years. I had this great plan to move and become a teacher. When the time came for the plan to start; I freaked out. So, I convinced my parents and myself that staying to get my masters was a better plan then growing up. I was happy about my choice until about this time last year.

I felt stuck. Stephenville and Tarleton had been my home for 4 1/2 years. I could not bare to leave a little over a year before and now I was finding every reason to bail on the weekends. I, in turn, became very depressed. Some of my best friends had big girl jobs, handsome boyfriends, and good lives. While I was stuck in the same town, with the same people, and the same crap. Do not get me wrong, I had fabulous girlfriends but I was in a serious rut. I started feeling guilty for being depressed. What was really hard about my life? Why are you depressed, when you want for nothing, have good friends, and have a job? It was a never-ending debate in my head. I started making plans to leave. I tried to finish my masters as quick as I could so I could walk away fulfilling my plan. I found a job in Fort Worth, and haven't looked back since.

A year later, I am content with my life in a way I haven't been in years. I have amazing friends, a great boyfriend, and a job that fulfills me. I did not even realize that this type of happiness was out there. Last year, I was just so unfulfilled with the life that I was leading that I could not make myself happy. I needed a full busy life to be happy. That is what I have now and I wouldn't change it for anything! If you were wondering I did not finish my masters. I will be finishing it this summer in SCOTLAND!!! Yes, like the country. I will be there for 5 1/2 weeks. I am pumped!


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1 comment:

  1. I can definitely relate to feeling guilty for feeling depressed. But every feeling is valid and I try to remind myself of that fact when I feel guilty for not appreciating everything I have.

    I'm glad things are looking up now!

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